A Father’s Regret

Listen Son, I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little hand crumpled under your cheek and blonde curls sticky over your wet forehead. I have broken into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guilty, I came to your bedside.

There are things which I am thinking, son; I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face a mere dab with the towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. As you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!".
(......)
I have asked too much, too much!
          — From “Father Forgets” by W. Livingston Larned

Perhaps this is the portrait of many fathers.
A father scolds his child, not because the child has done something wrong,
but out of irritation, with a hardened expression and a sharp tone.
The child, not understanding why, looks up in fear.

At times, fathers impose expectations far too high
on children who know so little—
and mistake it for love.

What a child needs is not perfection, but warm understanding and patience.
What a child needs is not the demand to become better,
but a gentle gaze that accepts them as they are.

Only after many years do fathers come to realize
that love is not about correcting,
but about waiting.
          — From Dawn Light Notes by Ki Jun Kwon

Reflection of the Day

★ A child raised in criticism learns to fear the world,
while a child raised in understanding learns to trust it. ★

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